Team Travis = Total Trivia Trio

First off, let me say that I offer a poor, poor substitute for the blog brilliance of our friend Steve-know. I hear he's really busy prepping during fourth period, so you'll have to put up with me for now.

Secondly, we miss Cindy and Craig and Andrea. We miss them a lot.

Thirdly, we bloody well rock. Not only did Travis, Steve, Steve, and James kick ass and score top spot for us in week one, but Travis, Steve, and I maintained our top spot in week two, and increased our overall lead to TEN PINTS! I mean, points. Seriously, we need more team members there to share the beer.

Yes, that's right, just the three of us. We can make it if we try.

So here's the rundown:

Start time: 9:30.

Intended start time: 9:00.

Engineer who personally contacted James to see if anyone was going to show up from our team or if they should just start without us: The man himself, Grill.

Engineer who now has a fancy job and has to get up in the morning, thus making trivia start and end at a time much more amenable to us old folks: Grill.

Engineer who is on paid leave this week because his bosses think he's into needle drugs: Grill.

Most persistent harassment of Craig: me.

Round one

I arrived just as question three was being asked, but the Geers cut me a break and read me the first two questions. Thx! It didn't make much difference since I had no earthly clue what the answers were, but I appreciated the gesture. I sure as hell knew the answer to question three, though: shortest verse in the Bible? "Jesus wept." Thassright.

Much to my relief, Travis arrived before the round was out, so we could be clueless together. We didn't do too badly, though -- 6/10, losing to the venerable Bipolar Bears, and, most importantly, beating PHDTS.

Round two

Ladies and gentlemen, our very own Travis, of Team Travis fame, single-handedly beat the combined wisdom of the entire bar and won the first music round. He answered every single question solo and got a whopping 8.5/10, beating everyone, including PHDTS. Sweet sweet victory beer was ours.

Round three

With the arrival of Buchan, our team grew by... wait... 50 per cent? Help me, Cindy.

Gotta love it when you guess the round theme early. After Lincoln, Saturn, and Tesla, we figured correctly that car makes and models would be the common thread, making for extra success. Yes. 9/10, which didn't win (seriously, there's a car called the Bongo?!) but more importantly, we beat PHDTS.

Round four

Movie trailers which were unfortunately impossible to hear from our table, but we figured out the Clooney connection. 7/10 -- really? We suspect there were some pity points awarded in there. Not that we're arguing; we'll totally take them. Especially since the cinephiles over at PHDTS took the round.

Round five

A toughie. A female donkey is a Jenny, and according to some totally made-up crap that Drew and Grill totally made up, the plural of octopus is octopodes. My octoass.

This round did teach us a valuable lesson, though: when in doubt, the answer is beer.

Also "Sex and the Weslies" had the endearing tag line of "Older than Travis."

4/10, sadly, but at least we tied PHDTS.

Round six

Shame on the otherwise fabulous Alexis for trying to ruin the round by shouting out answers. At least she got one wrong, giving Travis yet another chance to shine as the Human Encyclopedia of Music. 10/10, bitches! That's another pitcher and another victory over our rivals, PHDTS.

Buchan on Travis' music knowledge: "It's a tad ridiculous."

Victory is all the more sweet now because, as Buchan pointed out, the pitchers are now $15.50. So when we generously shared our round six and overall pitchers with The Joel and a random table of other folks, we were being even more ... generous. Is there a synonym for generous? If there is, that's what we are.

Quote of the night also goes to Buchan: "There's probably a lot I don't know about Jamaican rum." Sounds to me like a challenge, teammates.

So the standings for the evening:

1. TRAVIS 45

2. BPB 42

3. BSB 41.5

4. PHDTS 40.5

5. 2TB

and the overalls:

1. TRAVIS! 87.5

2. PHDTS 77.5

3. JCL 76.5

4. BPB 75

5. BSB

And that, my friends, is total trivia domination.

Week 11 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-James, Trivia-Kari. Steve-Know, Cindy, The Original Craig T. Nelson.

Pitchers Won: too many, I got about three lines typed before having to go call dinosaurs


Round 1
We began the night with a win. We got 8 points. Hitler, who is the only team on our radar got 5.5.

I'm surprised that Stay-Puffed only knew that many. Isn't all of PHDTS carried by the villian from Ghostbusters I?

Tonight the Owl was full of athletes from their award night. In short, they are all assholes.

Quote: "How would the athletes like it if I went and sat in the middle of their court and did trivia? They'd be all like 'Hey get off the court!' " -Trivia James.

Yes the athletes were annoying and loud. What do you expect? The average IQ on the upper level was probably 50. When you combine mental disabilities with booze you're just asking for trouble.

Anyways, returning to the trivia, we got a 8 and won the round. Hitler got 5.5. Nice.


Round 2

This round didn't go so well for us. It didn't really go well for anyone though. We got 5 and Hitler got 6.

I learned that Macs used to cost $666.666 which is proof that Macs are satanic. Also, apparently China only has one time code. Also none of the priests in the Vatican have managed to get pregnant, or at least have the child in the city.

Highlights of this round included Alexis telling the jocks to STFU. Nice.

Round 3

Hmmm. I really appreciate all that Drew and Grill do for us at trivia. With that nicety out of the way, let me tell you how shitty this round was. Grill played some of the shittiest shit known to man. It was all there, Slayer, Megadeath, pure feces. In fact, the sound of one of my dumps hitting the toilet water is more enjoyable than this stuff. This music was worse than shit.

Quote: "I don't think that winning that round is anything you should be proud of. It exposes the shittiness of your life." -Kari

We got a 1.5. Yay. Hitler got 2.5.

Round 4

This was a clever round. The theme was the board game 'Clue'. It almost redeemed Grill from his colon-emptying performance in the previous round. Almost.

The best part is, we won. Cindy recognized the theme and then it all fell apart. Us 10. Hitler 9.

Drew's feelings were hurt by our tagline "Drew and Grill don't have a clue." Awwwwww.

Round 5

This was a neat idea. Symphonies playing video game themes. Too bad the stupid jocks were too loud. Not a good showing for us here. US 3, Hitler 4.

"I couldn't hear a Buchan thing." -Trivia-James.

It is around this point that the extreme-drunkeness set in. My notes of the evening become much less detailed. I'll make some shit up from now on.

Round 6

Another win for us. We got 9 points and PHDTS got 8.

Two guys on PHDTS made out in front of the whole bar. Wow a gay pda.

Round 7

We had the ultimate debate of all time. Arrogant Worms or Captain Tractor. Luckily no one listened to me. It was the Arrogant Worms.

We scored a 7.5 however Hitler got 9. Schizen.

The big guy from PHDTS took off his pants and ran around the bar three times yelling "Oprah is my savior and freemasons rule the country" he sat down after like nothing had happened.

Grill explained to us all how he loves stuff that White people like. Especially yoga.

Round 8

True or False.

Question 1. Did Grill have 1,000,500 dicks in his mouth? False. (it was 1,000,400)

We won this round as well with 7 points. Just what we needed, another pitcher of beer. Now things are getting really blurry.

Grill told a very vivid and descriptive story over the microphone about the first time his mom caught him pleasuring himself to the Sears catalogue. No one laughed. It was awkward.

Somewhere in the midst of all of this drinking I cashed in our free tickets from the Great Western rep. I got to deal with Ben who was absolutely thrilled to give out free beer (sarcasm). I don't know what his problem was. I should write a lie about him.

Ben asked me if I was dermatologist because he needed advice about a rash he had got "down there". I was stunned. If I was a doctor I sure as hell wouldn't be a dermatologist. What a stupid question.

The Joel also had 8 dicks in his mouth.

Round 9

Hmm, all I have written is 7.5 PHDTS, 7 Travis.

Oh yeah I think this was Alexis' singing round. She did a good job again, singing in front of the whole place and all.


















I could do better. Especially if it was a Louis Armstrong song. I rule at Louis Armstrong.

Round 10

Alexis performed the final beaking. It was pretty good. However, she did manage to get damned for all eternity after she took a shot at our team's spiritual elder.

I don't really remember much more from the night. I spent the night calling dinosaurs so it must have been a good time.

We didn't win for the year.

The numbers I got from Drew and Grill were suspicious though. Hitler only won by 1 point according to them. I'm not so sure about this.

Travis 454
Push Her Down The Stairs 455

Hitler made themselves a trophy. The all did body shots off of the biggun's naked chest from the trophy. I'm pretty sure whoever wins the trivia next semester will not want that trophy.

CSIS came in and arrested Alexis for running a terrorist cell. Drew announced his future sex change operation (he's going to go back to being a man). Craig finally went unleashed and killed 6 or 7 people for making fun of Newfies. I saw him rip a jock's head clean off. Grill came out of the closet before we left the bar.

And that just about does it. We are still the greatest team ever. We have won the majority of the Owl's trivia seasons. That's nothing to be ashamed of. Further, we have never cheated. Ever.

Week 11 Season 1 2009
Pre-trivia update.

This is it ladies and gentlemen. The final countdown.

We have fought long and hard to defeat Hitler. Tomorrow is D-day. We have ten rounds of all out war to rid the world of all that is evil. If we fail, I know how to kill myself like a man.

I found some inspiring words before the battle:

All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
-Winston Churchill

Notice how Churchill didn't mention "cellphones" or "cheating" as great things. I thought Hitler and Churchill got along.... I might need to read more history.

By the way leave your 9th and 10th players home this week Hitler. Geez.

We are going to prove that Dark Helmet was wrong when he said "Evil will always triumph over Good, because Good is dumb."

To conclude this rallying speech I will summon the power of Thundera
Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats HOOOOOOO!

That should do it.

Week 10 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-James, Steve-Know, Cindy, The Original Craig T. Nelson.

Pitchers Won: 2

I asked Craig to post the trivia blog this week. He must have been confused. He posted these instead.

Week 9 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-Kari, Steve-Know, Cindy, The Original Craig T. Nelson.

Pitchers Won: 1

I apologize for both the lateness and brevity of this trivia update. I am currently swamped with a pile of school work almost as disgusting as PHDTS. Any Travisonian who would like to put something here is welcome to do so.

Umm yeah, PHDTS sucks.

Steve-Know

Week 8 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-James, Steve-Know, Cindy, The Original Craig T. Nelson.

Pitchers Won: 3 Boo Yeah


Round 1
We began the night with a win. We got 9 points. Other teams who matter got:
8 Wes
7 Bi-Polar Bears (honourable)
7 Hitler (not so honourable)

Some other insignificant team actually tied us, but they had 12 players, so we won. The two greatest words in the English language: Dee Fault! Dee Fault! Dee Fault!
Yay, we're +2 against Hitler again.

I made a special set of gauntlets to mark the occasion.
























Round 2
Once again we had a tie at 9.5 points. The tie breaker song was "Piece of Shit Car" by Adam Sandler. Well F that S.

Anyways, PHDTS who probably all drive piece of shit cars knew the answer first. They probably also do funny things with shampoo bottles if you know what I'm saying.

Ok, here's my biggest shit storm complaint of the night. PHDTS cheated all F'ing night again. They had 9 players, and I know that I'm be a picky dick. Here's the thing: it's a tight race. I know that they are going to say "He sat back when the questions were being asked." (which is only true for earlier rounds) Here's the thing, I watched that guy chime in numerous times tonight. Unless he was telling jokes that were so funny every one nodded instead of laughing, he was answering questions. But wait there's more, this new guy was using his cell phone too. Awesome.

I leave it to Drew to do something about this. However Drew had his hands full tonight (we'll get to the best part of the night in a bit).

Round 3

Here's a little on house fun. We had a pretty good fight on our team about which continent was the only one that did not have a desert. Craig and Jim were pretty sure that it was Antarctica, and Buchan and Andrea were hard set on Europe. Well Grew said it was Europe. But wait there's this. That's right, there's a desert in Europe as well. I knew there was a reason I didn't answer. Deep down I knew that they were both wrong.....

The highlight of this round had to be Craig showing us all his bulge. He hiked up his pants and I took this photo:


Craig got us our victory beer for the round with his pants in this layout. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we won another round boohyashacka. In fact, we gained another 2 points on Hitler. Good stuff.

While Craig was getting the beer, Drew decided to pants him. I knew Drew was excited to have Craig back, but I thought he would exhibit better self control.

Quote: "I've got a semi." Rev. Jim (about our performance, not about the pantsing or Craig's bulge-show)

Round 4 The Theme Round

Tonight's theme was national anthems. Well we knew all but one of them. Ok, well we made correct educated guesses on all but one of them. We didn't know the chinese national anthem. I know the Japanese one. (Sorry for exposing you to that).

Hitler used their cell phone's on Oh Canada.

Now once again for the night, we had a tie with Hitler (who had 9 players). We sent up Steve B. for the tie breaker. Hitler launched a different weapon. Here's how the battle looked:














Steve did ok, but Hitler triumphed. Schizen.

Quotes
"To be honest, screwing in the bathroom is not about romance." Steve-know.
"To be honest, do you ever get so horny at trivia that you have to go boff in the bathroom?" Trivia-James

Our startling revelation this round (keeping with the bathroom theme), was that they should put the handicap urinal in the middle. Thus the rule of 1-3-5... will be better obeyed. (I bet the ladies are laughing at this bit).

Round 5
A "Friends" theme round.
Ok, I really appreciate all of the work that Grew and Drill put into trivia. Going the extra distance with common-themed rounds is a great idea. Here's the problem. Friends is arguably the worst piece of shit ever to make it on television. I would rather watch Rita MacNeil jump naked on a trampoline than be forced to watch (or listen to) one second of the disgusting drecch. Here's a computer script that writes an episode of Friends:

t=0
{
Do { output: "Line" //not funny
output: "HAHAHAHA" //shitty brainless laugh track
}
While: {t<22}
t=t+1
}

Here's what it produces:

line
HAHAHAHA
line
HAHAHAHA
(repeat 20 more times)

There you go, each line takes one minute, and in total you've wasted a half hour of your life (once the commercials are blended in).

There. I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Round 6
Alexis was absent tonight (we didn't get out carried over beer). I fear that my comment about her beaks a few weeks ago may have mortally wounded her. Someone else did the beak. And then things got really interesting.

We had a lady who was new at trivia tonight. She was not impressed with the pace that trivia moved at. (In Drew's defence, Grill was away, and he only had a mangina to help him.)

She got loud. And mad. Really mad.

Drew responded by using the microphone to his advantage and made her look worse. Then he took his sweet ass time getting the round going.

She got more mad.

Now, I'm leaving out where she works and what she does for the Department of Sociology at this university because I have class. Some things are just wrong.

Apparently their table was there because of a facebook group called "Vote for Change" or something like that.

Anyways, the culmination of the event was Drew and being talked to by a dude (ogre) from her table. Here's how it looked:


















Quote: "You know what's not cool? When you have to send up your boyfriend to deal with it." Steve B.

Yes, their table's Shrek did not look happy. I think it's because Drew announced where the lady at the table works. I bet Drew wants to borrow my gauntlets.

Returning to the trivia round, things went shitty for us.

We lost all of our lead points on Hitler for the night except for 1/2 a point, which was enough to net us the overall win for the night.

I think that Tom Cochrane White Hot (actual name from Craig) sounds a lot like Bon Jovi Runaway at the beginning. I know they aren't the exact same, but at least I'm not crazy.

Ok, to summarize tonight's trivia:

-too late
-too many players (on hitler)
-too funny (lady freaking on Drew)
-too legit to quit
-too shitty (Friends, that is)

The scores for the night are:

1. Travis 49.5
2. Hitler 49
3. Wes 46.5
4. Broad Street Brawlers 45.5
5. dunno (Bi-Polar Bears?) 43
6. Bite the pillow 44.

Overall scores for the season as best as I can get are:

1. Hitler 320
2. Travis 312.5
3. Broad Street Brawlers 298.5

I cannot say anything more regarding standings with certainty.

Week 7 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-Kari, Steve-Know, Cindy

Pitchers Won: 3 Boo Yeah


Round 1
Gwahahahaha a perfect 10. We showed our true trivia prowess by destroying the first round. The next closest team was Hitler, with 7 points. That right, we started the night off by gaining three points on the vacuously disgusting, perverted and filthy Hitlers.
Some fun things that we knew were:

How many humps a bactrian camel has (2).
What a wormhole is (well, what a wormhole may be).
Djoser built the first pyramid.

Yes we thoroughly spanked that first round. Things were off to a great start, but then......

Round 2

Shit. We got a 5. Grew and Drill have taken up a love of country music or something. Hitler's cell phone knew 8 of the questions. Dammit, we gain 3 points on them only to lose them in the next round.........yaaargh.

Here's how losing points on Hitler felt.
Round 3

This was a fun round. (So was the first btw. Did I mention how awesome we did in the first round?) The worst part about this round, is that we got a 7, and we had pondered the correct answers for 2 of the ones we got wrong.

Where on the human body would you find the thinnest layer of skin? We said 'lips'. Apparently its the 'eyelids', which we debated.

What is the fastest non-mechanical sport? We chose bobsled. The inner physicist knew that skydiving was faster (after Travis (the person) brought it up). Our debate was over whether or not skydiving is a sport. I don't think it is. Big whoop, you leapt out of a plane. In the words of Buzz Lightyear, the rest is just falling with style.

The one question we didn't know was what 'pop' in 'pop goes the weasel' means. Apparently it's a bit of English cockney, and 'pop' means 'to pawn'. We assumed it meant to kill a weasel, and that this children's nursery rhyme was no different from any other one and involved killing something. (it turns out the pawning is so that people can buy booze in some interpretations).

Now I would like to take a moment to address some concerns that have brought to my attention. Some complain that this blog is too far right and that I'm a right wing crackpot. Well here's something for the lefties regarding weasels:







































Note the weasel fur jackets lefties. These guys love having red paint thrown on them as they are engineers.

Somehow I seem to have gotten off track.

Round 3 ended with us getting 7, Hitler got 6. Sweet.


Round 4. The Theme Round

Tonight's theme was game show themes. Well I would like to brag about our 10, but there was a 6 way tie for first, and one of those teams was Hitler. Being in league with them some how lessens the perfect score....

Anyways, BF Prentice, our expansion team, yelled out the answer loudest (but not first) and won the beer.

Fun round.

Round 5

The guys put together a clever theme round where all of the answers had a common theme; they were 'nuts'.

Ok, here's my beef, christmas trees are not necessarily pine. All you said was conifers. Wikipedia lists 12 common types of Christmas trees used in North America, and 7 of them are firs (which we put down as our answer), the other 5 are pine. 7>5. Do I have to do another math proof this week?

Anyways, the theme was clever.

Us 5, Hitler 6. Shitty.

Round 6

Hmmm something strange is going on. Alexis came out and told us that she was not going to beak us for the rest of the semester. She claims that she is saving up for some sort of mega-beak at the end of the semester. Then she proceeded to do her best to hold in her hatred for us. Some of it still slipped out. "You guys better be lubing up your assholes. Be prepared for the beak of your life."

The round went swell for us: a 9.5 and Hitler only got... I think it was 6.5.

The point is, we won the night. Boo yeah!! Then we were faced with a predicament. It's late, no one is drinking a lot on our team and we just won 2 pitchers of beer. Props go to Alexis for letting us carry over a pitcher.

The results for the season thus far are:

6. 2 Tall Broads 240
5. Wes 241
4. Bi-Polar Bears 245
3. Broad Street Brawlers 253
2. Travis 263
1. Hitler 271

This was one of the most satisfying Trivia nights in awhile. Good times guys and gals.