Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-James, Trivia-Kari. Steve-Know, Cindy, The Original Craig T. Nelson.
Pitchers Won: too many, I got about three lines typed before having to go call dinosaurs
Round 1
We began the night with a win. We got 8 points. Hitler, who is the only team on our radar got 5.5.
I'm surprised that Stay-Puffed only knew that many. Isn't all of PHDTS carried by the villian from Ghostbusters I?
Tonight the Owl was full of athletes from their award night. In short, they are all assholes.
Quote: "How would the athletes like it if I went and sat in the middle of their court and did trivia? They'd be all like 'Hey get off the court!' " -Trivia James.
Yes the athletes were annoying and loud. What do you expect? The average IQ on the upper level was probably 50. When you combine mental disabilities with booze you're just asking for trouble.
Anyways, returning to the trivia, we got a 8 and won the round. Hitler got 5.5. Nice.
Round 2
This round didn't go so well for us. It didn't really go well for anyone though. We got 5 and Hitler got 6.
I learned that Macs used to cost $666.666 which is proof that Macs are satanic. Also, apparently China only has one time code. Also none of the priests in the Vatican have managed to get pregnant, or at least have the child in the city.
Highlights of this round included Alexis telling the jocks to STFU. Nice.
Round 3
Hmmm. I really appreciate all that Drew and Grill do for us at trivia. With that nicety out of the way, let me tell you how shitty this round was. Grill played some of the shittiest shit known to man. It was all there, Slayer, Megadeath, pure feces. In fact, the sound of one of my dumps hitting the toilet water is more enjoyable than this stuff. This music was worse than shit.
Quote: "I don't think that winning that round is anything you should be proud of. It exposes the shittiness of your life." -Kari
We got a 1.5. Yay. Hitler got 2.5.
Round 4
This was a clever round. The theme was the board game 'Clue'. It almost redeemed Grill from his colon-emptying performance in the previous round. Almost.
The best part is, we won. Cindy recognized the theme and then it all fell apart. Us 10. Hitler 9.
Drew's feelings were hurt by our tagline "Drew and Grill don't have a clue." Awwwwww.
Round 5
This was a neat idea. Symphonies playing video game themes. Too bad the stupid jocks were too loud. Not a good showing for us here. US 3, Hitler 4.
"I couldn't hear a Buchan thing." -Trivia-James.
It is around this point that the extreme-drunkeness set in. My notes of the evening become much less detailed. I'll make some shit up from now on.
Round 6
Another win for us. We got 9 points and PHDTS got 8.
Two guys on PHDTS made out in front of the whole bar. Wow a gay pda.
Round 7
We had the ultimate debate of all time. Arrogant Worms or Captain Tractor. Luckily no one listened to me. It was the Arrogant Worms.
We scored a 7.5 however Hitler got 9. Schizen.
The big guy from PHDTS took off his pants and ran around the bar three times yelling "Oprah is my savior and freemasons rule the country" he sat down after like nothing had happened.
Grill explained to us all how he loves stuff that White people like. Especially yoga.
Round 8
True or False.
Question 1. Did Grill have 1,000,500 dicks in his mouth? False. (it was 1,000,400)
We won this round as well with 7 points. Just what we needed, another pitcher of beer. Now things are getting really blurry.
Grill told a very vivid and descriptive story over the microphone about the first time his mom caught him pleasuring himself to the Sears catalogue. No one laughed. It was awkward.
Somewhere in the midst of all of this drinking I cashed in our free tickets from the Great Western rep. I got to deal with Ben who was absolutely thrilled to give out free beer (sarcasm). I don't know what his problem was. I should write a lie about him.
Ben asked me if I was dermatologist because he needed advice about a rash he had got "down there". I was stunned. If I was a doctor I sure as hell wouldn't be a dermatologist. What a stupid question.
The Joel also had 8 dicks in his mouth.
Round 9
Hmm, all I have written is 7.5 PHDTS, 7 Travis.
Oh yeah I think this was Alexis' singing round. She did a good job again, singing in front of the whole place and all.
I could do better. Especially if it was a Louis Armstrong song. I rule at Louis Armstrong.
Round 10
Alexis performed the final beaking. It was pretty good. However, she did manage to get damned for all eternity after she took a shot at our team's spiritual elder.
I don't really remember much more from the night. I spent the night calling dinosaurs so it must have been a good time.
We didn't win for the year.
The numbers I got from Drew and Grill were suspicious though. Hitler only won by 1 point according to them. I'm not so sure about this.
Travis 454
Push Her Down The Stairs 455
Hitler made themselves a trophy. The all did body shots off of the biggun's naked chest from the trophy. I'm pretty sure whoever wins the trivia next semester will not want that trophy.
CSIS came in and arrested Alexis for running a terrorist cell. Drew announced his future sex change operation (he's going to go back to being a man). Craig finally went unleashed and killed 6 or 7 people for making fun of Newfies. I saw him rip a jock's head clean off. Grill came out of the closet before we left the bar.
And that just about does it. We are still the greatest team ever. We have won the majority of the Owl's trivia seasons. That's nothing to be ashamed of. Further, we have never cheated. Ever.
