Week 6 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-James, Steve-Know, Cindy, Michelle, The Original Craig T. Nelson.

Pitchers Won: 1

To begin tonight's recap, I would like to wish Craig a happy b-day!

Round 1

We thoroughly spanked this round (even if we only got 8). I didn't write any of the actual questions down because I couldn't reach around my giant erection summoned by our performance. That's right. I think our knowledge is sexy.

We actually gained 2 points on Hitler in this round.
Note that Hitler=PHDTS
Want proof?

Proof By Contradiction

Assume PHDTS is not Hitler
Let a=PHDTS
Let b=not Hitler

(from our hypothesis)

2. Multiply through by a

3. Subtract

4. Factor both sides

5. Divide out

6. Observing that

7. Combine like terms on the left

8. Divide by the non-zero b

We have arrived at a contradiction. Since 2 obviously does not equal 1, our assumption must be false, and PHDTS must be Hitler. Don't act so surprised.

Round 2 Well we tied Hitler anyways.

This was a fun round. Drew had a nice Freudian slip when he called the team 'Children of the Cornhole', "Children Cornhole" which revealed to everyone what Drew really has on his mind all the time. Perv.

However, Drew's not all bad. When some team named themselves "The Cheaters, Catch Us If You Can", Drew rather wittly replied, "Yeah, well you didn't cheat enough." in response to their shittiness. Nice. Now PHDTS is apparently filling out 2 cards per round?

Also, the Bi-Polar Bears, our honourable brethren, get a shout out for their tagline: "PHDTS should have cell phones on their new shirts."

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Hitler has uniforms now.

Round 3

Well, I would formally like to apologize for getting a bonus wrong.
Here's a photo I took with my camera:




















I know what you're wondering "Does she have nice tits?" Yes, she does.
Fuck beans, why did I get that wrong? (not what it's called, but rather where it is)
Note: I went to Paris before Amsterdam, so there's no blaming my memory loss on that.

Hitler fired back this round with: "The Bi-Polar Bears should have vaginas on their shirt because they are a bunch of crusty vaginas." No-one likes Hitler anyways.

Round 4 Movie Quotes.

Note: Hitler is getting a degree in watching movies. Why the hell did I torture myself with a Science degree? Oh yeah, because I'm not Hitler.
The Good Guys 8
Hitler 10

Round 5 Drew and Grill Get Their Rape On

Yowzers. We got a 4. (At least Hitler only got a 3).

Apparently the most common pub name in England is "The Red Lion".
This page says "The Crown" is actually the most common name. In fact, so does Wikipedia.

I said "the local" ie. what most English people call their local pub. Again wrong. I cannot be allowed to answer without supervision from now on.

End result: The Good Guys: 4. Hitler 3, (2 Guys 1 Cup won the round with 5).


Round 6

Alexis beaked. She always does. Eventually all you hear is, "Are you scared of me? I hope so."
She wanted to show us her new unicorn tattoo, here's a photo I took of it.

I agree, it is very detailed. I'm not sure if Alexis knows what a unicorn is however.

Then the round started. We got 7, Hitler got 8.

Less importantly, Broad Street Brawlers got 6. Alexis announced to the bar that she shit the bed. Incontinence is hilarious.

Overall
Well holyfuckinblitzkrieg Hitler gained more points on us tonight! The scores for the season thus far are:

1. Hitler 227.5
2. Travis 216.5
3. Broad Street Brawlers 209.5
4. Wes 206.5
5. Bi-Polar Bears 206
6. 2-Tall Broads 200.5

The funniest thing that I bore witness to tonight was the actions of a bunch of metal-heads. They asked us "Are you guys hunters? What do you hunt?" in response to our orange headgear.
One of them mutters "Metal-heads" thinking that he is awesome, and we're a bunch of elitist squares.
The first thing that popped into my mind was 'Meth-heads', but I didn't feel like getting my ass kicked, so I didn't reply with that. We ignored them.
Once they realized that they were about to be asked questions if they stayed in the bar they instantly fled.
Here's the lesson: Deep down, the ultimate weapon that a nerd has over an uneducated toad is that the toad is scared shitless of being assessed. Ask them questions, they hate it. Good stuff.

Week 5 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-Kari, Trivia-James, Steve-Know, Cindy

Quasi Support: Ashley, Gus (but never at the same time).

Pitchers won: Zero, unless we count the early attendance pitcher, which I practically ran over a girl I know to get.

We had another fun night of trivia, and it was excellent to have Kari AND James with us. The brain trust was almost complete....we just need Craig T. Nelson. We miss you Craig.

Round 1
This round looked pretty good for us, Kari and James knew the three car companies named after a person that start with "C". I guessed Star Wars for one and was correct. Travis showed off his tri-bond skills and knew that music, prisons, and soap all were bars. Overall it went quite nicely, but we didn't win.

BF Prentice, A.K.A the team that Cindy told about trivia beat us.

(In fact, they handily won the night. I hate them now.)

Round 2
Young whippersnapper music. My old balls descended another foot. We got 7.5, PHDTS got 9.5, it appears that their cell phones are working.

Round 3
The Sex Trivia Round

We didn't know a lot, but we sure learned. Drew and Grill ought to be Sex-Ed teachers. Grill might have to be less disgustingly drunk all the time. Here's some fun facts:

1. Sperm is good for your teeth!! I thought PHDTS had been using whitening strips.
2. Sperm has a speed of 29mph when fired. That must hurt PHDTS's uvula.
3. 8% of people prefer receiving anal. I'm guessing there was about 100 people in the bar, and 8 people on PHDTS.......just saying.
4. I wrote the Kama Sutra. My writing alias is Mallanaga Vatsyayana.

Overall, we got a 4. Ouch. Nobody did great though.

Round 4
The theme round!!! Sweet, it's SNES Themes.

1. F-Zero
2. Donkey Kong Country
3. Rocknroll Raching
4.Star Fox
5. Chrono Trigger
6. Street Fighter 2
7 Super Mario World
8. Zombies ate my Neighbor
9. Sin City
10. Mario Cart Battle Mode

We got 7 correct. There was a three way tie for the teams that got 8 points. Oh sure, now you play the theme to Zelda. Fun round.

Round 5

Props to Cindy for knowing that 7-up used to have lithium in it. Props to James for knowing an aerial is what the Brits call an antennae. Drew and Grill asked a bible question. James destroyed it.

Drew and Grill also asked a question about fonts again. What's the deal guys? We got it right (Kari), I'm just wondering what the infatuation with fonts is lately?

The end result of round 3 was a three way tie, us, BF Prentice, PHDTS.

The Tie Breaker Question: How big is a blue whale's rod? Of course PHDTS knew that. They love dicks!! Here's a photo I found online:















They actually have it touching their face(s). Gross. Also their tongues are hanging out. How much can I further discredit these guys?

Round 6
Alexis and her bar team deserve a round of applause for winning the challenge. They got a perfect 10.

Overall Scores

For the night
1. BF Prentice 47
2. PHDTS 45
3. Travis 43
4. 2 Tall Broads 40.5
5. Wes 39.5

For the season
1. PHDTS 182 (see above photo)
2. Travis 173
3. Broad Street Brawlers 171
4. Wes 163.5
5. Bi-Polar Bears 162.5
6. 2 Tall Broads 160.5

Overall, another satisfying night of trivia (except for the pesky fact that we're not way out in the lead where we prefer to be). It was great to almost have the whole team together.

Oh and I almost forgot the highlight of the night: Mitch got busted making out with a girl in the can. Drew and Grill did the right thing and announced it to the whole bar for maximum humiliation. Their walk of shame back to their chairs was priceless.
Steve B. coming back to our table from th bathroom after missing the announcement and subsequent humiliation and telling us, "Dude, you see that girl and that guy over there? They were totally making out in the can." added a nice final touch.

Sorry for the lateness of the post, but it just felt good to go to bed on Wednesday night for once.

Week 4 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Craig T. Nelson, RevJim, Steve-Know, Cindy

It is great to see Andrea back after a month long sabbattical from trivia (which I hope she spent memorizing the encyclopedia).

Pitchers won: 1


Ok, let me begin tonight's recap again on a happy note: tonight was fun!!

I know, right now you're going "He's not going to say anything edgy, or overly offensive, and he's probably not going to mention guns at all. I better go whack-off/double-click-the-mouse to photos of Bea Arthur instead of reading this." (who knew PHDTS could paint?) I still urge you to read on.

Round 1
Ouch a 5.5. There's a whole team whose name is something like "Can we get a five at least?" It must suck to be them.
We were disappointed with this round. Especially since we flipped the coin on a couple, and got both of the coin flips wrong (sorry James, Days of Thunder was correct).

Trivia James gets big time points for knowing a group of monkeys is called a troop; I was sure the answer was "Push Her Down the Stairs" (I bet Drew and Grill would accept this as an answer).

Round 2
A 7.5 for the good guys (not enough for a win, which was an 8.5 for 2 Tall Broads). We couldn't name an Amanda Marshall song. I sure as hell am not ashamed at this. Not one bit. Amanda Marshall's Discography was actually on my list of the 12 Worst Songs of 2004, but then this came out.

Other than that, it was a fun round.

Round 3
ok, I'm going to break this down as best I can:

1. In the Chinese Zodiac, what is the animal whose name comes first alphabetically? Well the answer given was Dog, too easy, and I'm sure that they would have been eaten anyways. Please tell me you have seen Gran Torino?

Well, might I direct you here. That's right, Cindy-Know, knew that the Boar was the actual animal. Last time I checked B comes before D, but I only took 2 English classes here. not like you guys..... oh wait, engineers only take English 100, and they can fail three times!!! Not like other faculties. Sorry, that's a cheap shot, I'm sure you both got solid C's.

2. Ostrich, we knew that (I think credit goes to Cindy-Know again).

3. The question was, unless I'm mistaken, which never happens, was : "What team has been in every world cup since it started in 1930?"
Well it would appear that Brazil has been in it 18 times. So since I don't know a fucking thing about soccer what I learned tonight is that there has been 18 world cups since 1930. Good to know.

4. Where does Balaclava come from?
To quote Grill: "The first time I had sex in the park, I wanted her to not see my face (for obvious reasons), so I pulled a black shirt over my face and tied it at the back. Then I cut some eye holes. She was from some weird country and instead of yelling 'No', she kept making sounds like 'bellaclavva'. I took the name from there and spread it throughout the world."

5. Columbus was Italian. Fuck I watched a whole episode of Sopranos about Columbos Day. I'm kicking myself.

6,7,8,9,10: We knew them all.

Intermission: The Owl Staff tonight get a big high five for not giving us our pizza, and then making us raise shit to get one. (We actually saw our pizza delivered to the wrong table). The number was not given out over the mic, our pizza was delivered, to the wrong table.

Well Craig T. Nelson a.k.a. Clark Kent would have none of this. Here's how it went down:













That's right, Craig punched a burrowing owl he was so mad at the owl staff.

Now that it's the end of round three, I would ike to point out that it's 11:30.

But wait, there's more:

Grill: "Craig, Shopper's Drug Mart has a sale on Just For Men".
Craig: " You would know because you read the Shoppers flyer every week and beat off to it."
I have nothing to add to this.

Round 4

We got a 9. As per usual, round 4 was awesome. It was movie themes, and they were good. I was so excited I broke my pen.

Travis (the person) knew a shit load: The Rock, Speed, I can't remember the rest.....good stuff.

Round 5
We got a 9. Then I had to go up for the tie breaker (it was actually my first time, the other time I went up the other team was BSB and we won by default). I won the round by answering the question before Drew could finish it. BooYeah. I hate to brag, but I was pretty happy to win my first showdown.

Round 6
We got a 6.5. That's even a little young for Tillman. (foo far?)

I have decided that our team's problem is this: We are too smart. We know two answers to every question. Then making the decision is the hard part.

Here's the night's scores
44 Broad Street Brawlers
43 PHDTS
42 Some team with a B
41.5 Travis
40.5 Bite the Pillow Bitch.....
40.5 Wes
40 2 Tall Broads
39.5 Bi-Polar Bears

Season Scores
1. PHDTS 137
2. BSB 134
3. Travis 130
4. Bi-Polar Bears 126
5. Wes 124
6. Bite the Pillow 120
7. 2 Tall Broads 120


Hmm all I can say is that I sure liked things better when PHDTS sat right in front of Drew and Grill rather than on the stage...............just saying.

Maybe I better threaten them with..... a slingshot, or a sword or something I don't know......