Team Travis: Persecuted, Reviled, Awesome

Now that we're at the penultimate round of the season, it appears our complete and total awesomeness is rubbing a few people the wrong way. PHDTS took a shot at us in a tagline (and poor Joel's coif suffered as well) and the geers were reeeally giving us the gears. Grill, despite an extremely generous and giving offer from yours truly to inherit a beautiful piece of retro music technology for free, was particularly testy. Guess we need to ply him with beer at our kegger.

Our wonderfully inevitable kegger.

Break it down:

Steve, Travis, Buchan, Kari in attendance. Steve put in some serious loner hours waiting for us to get there. This shall not be the case this coming Wednesday, though, because trivs will be starting at 9:00 sharp in order to accommodate super extra bonus rounds. For our part, we will both be in attendance to help ensure total trivia domination.

Round 1: Some hits; some misses. 2TB won. PHDTS gained 2.5 on us. Ooooh.

Round 2: Obscure 80s/90s music. Well, obscure to the normal human; a piece of cake to Travis. 2TB win again. They are becoming a threat, so it gets dirty: "Two Tall Broads? Yeah - horizontally tall." OUCH, SL.

Round 3: Our perennial favourite, the themed trivia round. We managed to get all the answers without figuring out the connection between them! We were pretty close, guessing military vehicles when in fact they were all tanks. Let me say that what began to tip me off to the militariness was the fact that panther was one of the answers, which I assume to translate to panzer in German, which I knew was part of the name of the panzerkampfwagen because of our friend Cam's excellent TV commercial. Yes, folks. That's why it's called trivia.

This is where Grill got a little testy. Buchan may potentially possibly might have theoretically challenged our points total, which caused Grill to take away our points, which removed us from the tiebreaker, which deprived us of the sweet taste of victory beer. Steve-know coined the following, which I will kindly censor for the more delicate among us:

c*nt: [kʌnːt] v. trans. To treat unfairly; screw over. "Grill totally cun*ed us that round."

Of course he didn't really take our points away, so I guess he can still have my record player. I guess.

Round 4: movie production company themes. Very challenging; lots of fun. 6 pts.

Round 5: a tough trivia round.

Question: What was Lady Penelope's licence plate on Thunderbird 5?

Answer : Who the hell cares?

(courtesy of T-rav)

Question: What is the fruit with the most calories?

Answer: Grill.

(courtesy of SL)

This caused Grill to threaten to take away ALL our points. Eventually he had mercy on us.

7pts.

6. Grill's testiness continues, but at least other teams are feeling the wrath as well. I am mesmerized by the PHDTS guy's hideous sleeveless grease monkey shirt and his copious pit hair so I take no note of the content of the round. 7.5 points.

Quote of the night: "It's not about us getting free beer; it's about other teams not getting free beer." Buchan, I presume?

Has anyone else noticed that we have kind of a legwear theme happening in the names of our team members? Please pardon the funnery here, but I just have to point it out. There's (apologies) Cindy Pantalon, and there's Tr...avis H...auser. Tr...auser. Trauser. Say it out loud.

What of the other members, you say? Well, I'm working on that. How about: Craig Scott pants on. Craigscott pants on. (This is another one best enjoyed aloud.) Just saying, is all. Just saying.

And down to the the nitly gritly:

for the night -

1. Bite the Pillow - 45.5

2. PHDTS - 45

3. T-Rav and the T-babes - 43.5

4. 2TB and Boner City, tied at 42

5. BSB - 41

6. BPB - 39

and the cumulatives -

1. Travisse - 441.5

2. PHDTS - 409

3. BSB - 392

4. BPB - 380

5. Ses and the Wexlies - 378.5

6. 2TB - 374.5

This is it - the homestretch! Cruisin' into a kegger. Nice work.

There's a reason why we're called Team Travis

... although apparently tonight we could also have been called Team James, or Team Where The Hell Is James?

Despite the fact that the questions were all very sweetly tailored towards an absent player, we still managed to pull out a decent showing. Also, the T-rav was home sick. Get better soon, Travis. Please.

Attendance: SL, SB, KO and Mr. Ben Freitag, special guest and hopefully core membership inductee.

Toques worn: Just me. That's okay, guys. I don't mind looking like an idiot, I swear.

Pitchers won: three.

Pitchers we were ill-advised to drink: the last one.

Where Buchan went at the end of the night: No one knows.

Round one. The theme? Things James would have known if he were here.

Zero Pastor's Wife points to me for the land east of Eden. James knew it was the Land of Nod. I only know how to make Land of Nod buns. They're delicious. Next trivia breakfast, they'll be on the menu and you will forgive me.

This round gave rise to the most controversial question of the night, which was the number of inner metal rings on a dart board. The Joel got pissed enough to pull out his cell phone, afterthe round was over, to be sure, to challenge the ruling. However, by the end of the night, we had all resigned ourselves to the fact that there are just a lot of double rings on a dart board and that's the end of that.

When reading the scores, Drew demanded to know who Bite the Pillow are. "They're here every week but they never win," he said. Hooray for perseverance.

8 pts

Round the second. Movie soundtrack question. This was a deceptively easy soundtrack to guess, but our song knowledge was severely lacking. Fortunately, thanks to Newfoundland Television playing this with trippy graphics back to back for an entire day, I managed to contribute a bit. I believe it was Ben who put together the fact that this was the Wayne's World soundtrack. Party on, Ben. Party on, Steves.

We completely sucked at this round, getting 3.5.

Tag line: Travis misses travis.

No one else did all that well, though, so not to worry. When PHDTS got a whopping 1.5 more points than us, there was some fist pumping and someone made a "narrowing the gap" motion. Them's figtin' gestures.

Round 3. This round was Jimmy's birthday present: the theme was books of the Old Testament. Well, the thought was nice.

Tag line: this round is better for Jews.

Ben treated us to 'chos. They were good. Welcome to the team.

Steven Leslie's comment on the decentness of the 'chos: "Whoever's working tonight is not totally useless. That's the kindest compliment I've ever paid to them."

I pulled Samuel Coleridge out of my ass for The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. I am proud of this.

My Pastor's Wife chops were tested yet again during the tiebreaker, which featured us, BPBs, and Baby G and the G Babes who are pretty much all right kind of folks and share our anti-cheasting stance. Anyway, the first tiebreaker question was the meaning of "The Christ" which I shamefully didn't get. But the second question was my redemption, as I knew that the most common cause of death by crucifixion is asphyxiation. We poured a pitcher for Jesus after that one.

7 points.

Round 4 - Star Wars sound effects, and -- music to our ears -- "Not any of that new shit Star Wars." When asked to point to the table's biggest nerd, we dutifully did so, but revised our stance with another one of our excellent tag lines: "We all pointed at ourselves."

Steves were on the case for this one. Very impressive, gents. Once again, stuff James would know as well. This round, we learned that SL should go as this next halloween instead of a nipple-baring Wilma Flintstone, although I'm sure you two looked awesome. Also please note that next year James and I will be dressed as Dog the Bounty Hunter and Mrs. Dog as long as that is still culturally relevant.

There was a cruel, cruel bonus at the end of this round which was a Star Trek sound. Oooh, those sneaky bitches. This caused SL to wreck the entire bar with his nerd rage. Well, okay, it was just the railing on the stage, but still. It was epic.

"I will rape your nerd asses." --Drew. Too true.

The mystery team whose name had to do with chicken trussing won this round. We got 8.

Number 5 -- Pretty damn good one. Once again, James would have known one of the answers we got wrong, but we still did all right. Some Chemical Brothers playing between rounds got us discussing the fact that if you shove E up your butt you get high faster. Now that's news you can use.

Last round -- Just one shitty song after another, except "Two Princes," to which I'm still rocking out in my head. This was a very very painful round. My notes say "Sit down, drunken windbreaker man." I assume something like this was going on.

This round was won by elderly cell phone-cuddling men. They hemmed and hawed about whether to take their pitcher, which I think is a clear sign they were paralyzed by their guilty consciences. Bite the Pillow had an excellent tag line: "Next semester you will all fell."

4 big points.

Quotes of the night:

"This IS what a DD is in Saskatchewan." -- I believe it was Mr. Leslie. This of course refers to the fact that here, a DD is a drunk driver, naturally.

"I've spelled "if" wrong before." -- Buchan

"Any sport where you can chew something while you're playing is not a sport." -- KMO

"I might be the rookie on the team but I know what success is." -- Ben

"Go get your pitcher, muthafuckas." -- Grill

And now, what you've all been waiting for: confirmation that there is a keg party in our sweet, sweet future.

The night:

1. Rock N Rollas - 41

2. Sheldon - 40.5

3. PHDTS and Travis, together at last - 39.5

4. BPB - 37.5

5. Steely Dan? - 36

6. Bite the Pillow - 34.5

and overalls:

1. Travis - 349.5

2. PHDTS - 323

3. BSB and BPB - 306

4. RNRollas - 296.5

5. Ses and the Wexies - 296

6. 2TB - 286

Ta-da!

Also, to make up for the fact that there's no trivs next Wednesday -- some holiday to do with war or something -- we are offering to host trivia at our place on TUESDAY night. (That way we can stay in bed all day Wednesday.) If you're interested, let me know.

Two years ago this week....

Kari and I joined Team Travis. That's right. Halloweek was a good week for us, since we came dressed as these guys, and Craig was dressed as this guy. I know, hey? Hard to believe. But, in that time, we've been doing well. We've won several crowns, and only lost once since we've gotten together. Oh, I could spend all night looking into the past. Let's look at the present.

Round One:

Things I never knew? Roofies come in a pouch, and when you pour them into someone's drink, you stir it with your finger. Classy, Buchan.

We had a lot of questions that we sort of got right, and as you know, close doesn't count. Who knew that Rome was built on the Tiber? Or that Schick made the first electric razor? Not us! But we did know that Scooby Doo was based on a Sinatra Scat, and that Lester B Pearson was the first Canadian to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Unfortunately, this was back in the day when you actually had to do something to win. We got five, the winners got nine. And this was the first appearance of the HiNi vaccinators, stopping the spread since '09.

Round Two, in which we learned that "My God can do anything but fail".

Music round featuring van Halen, Rob Zombie, U2, the Cult and not the cure, Alice in Chains and "still Dre" by doctor Dre. This is also where Craig stated his aversion to itunes: "It's like a virus, talking to my computer in ways I don't want it to." We also discussed briefly pot smoke in a concert - Travis: "Have you ever seen a security guard jump into a throng of people to grab a smoker." Buchan: "There was a guy kicked out of the centre for the arts for smoking pot. The opening act hadn't even started. The house lights were still up!"

Theme Round.


Yes, ladies, this was a tough theme. People who are on the album artwork for Sgt. Pepper. I totally understand how hard it was, and many people felt the same way I did, because it was cheat-city out there.
They asked about Bob Dylan, Marilyn Monroe, Fred astaire, Dylan Thomas, HG Wells, Laurel and Hardy, and so on. Cheaters were turned in, zeroes were awarded, and Buchan had the line of the night, to a cheating girl who made eye contact with him: "Was the internet slow on your phone?"

We got six, PHDTS got 8. Craig: "tough sled, tough sled."

Round 4 - Morgan Freeman quotes.

Oh boy. Where to start? There were 10 Morgan freeman quotes. There were probably as many lines in people's tag lines about Michelle's knitting.. More of people giving us a hard time for being old. But you know what age helps with? Remembering the dialogue from driving Miss Daisy!
If that doesn't seem quite right, well, nor were our answers....or were they? While Drew was busy asking Michelle if she would knit one massive toque to cover the heads of the whole team, we were busy winnin'. Quotes from Chain reaction, march of the penguins, war of the worlds, ten million dollar baby (which is what I hope to get for BP) and family guy. Also, from Unforgiven, which Craig failed to recognize.

We got an 8, and that was the winning score. As craig said, it's an ugly win, but a win. You don't know about world poverty night because you WEREN'T THERE!

Round Five:

Who had the best selling debut album of all time? Debbie Gibson or Tiffany?

Neither, pervs. It was Whitney Houston. We also found out that geocities disappeared today, and that the only way that "busty brazilian babes" should show up on your Youtube playlist after you've watched "who's on first" is if the sketch was performed by busty brazilian babes. Buchan: "Who's on first? I don't know, your boobs?"

Travis got a half mark for knowing about audio layer three, and the girl in a prom dress got a lot of remarks in tag lines. Our tag line was "best tag line ever."
Craig: "It's a tag line and the truth all rolled into one!" We got six, the winners got 8.5

Last round: The stop round. We did well. Vanilla ice is not queen.
We got nine, the BPBs got ten. Good show.

Scores for the night:

6 - 33.5 Sheldon.
5 - 37 2 Tall Broads and Wes 'n' the sexies.
4 - 40 Bi Polar Bears.
3 - 40.5 Broad St. Brawlers.
2 - 42.5 Travis.
1 - 44 Push her down the stairs.

Overall:

6 - 255.5 Rock 'n' Rollas
5 - 263 Wes 'n' the sexies.
4 - 268.5 The Bi Polar Bears.
3 - 271.5 The Broad St. Brawlers.
2 - 283.5 Push Her Down the Stairs.
1 - 310 Travis.

Good Night.

Hooray for early starts and fun theme rounds

After another delightful trivia breakfast feat. Cindy and Jud, and the two awesome guys who shingled our shed, plus a football game feat. Janelle, Team Travis is well bolstered to face another hot week of trivia.

this is going to be a brief recap because I have to go slave for the gubberment tomorrow morning.

Attendance: Leslie, Buchan, Travis, Craig, and me.

Start time: before Craig or I got there. Don't get me wrong - the early start time is awesome. Thank you, Travis and Steves for getting there on time.

Brief round recapz:

1- 7 points. Hamilton is the capital of Bermuda. Buchan would like us all to brush up on our knowledge of our fellow commonwealth countries. Tsk.

2- 8 points. Good effort from all (esp. Travis)

3- 11.5. Shhhh. Don't ask where the extra .5 came from. This was the movie plots in a few sentences round, which was great fun. Well done, Geers. Kudos to Buchan for getting the tiebreaker.

4- the backwards song round. Again, great fun. Songs sound surprisingly similar backwards and forwards, and as our tagline said, Hotel California is equally shitty backwards. Didn't get the tiebreaker but there's no shame in that. Some serious division in our team over the greatness or not greatness of Queen.

5- 7 points. We LOVE Clone High references and got quite excited for whoever was awesome enough to put "G Spot rocks the G spot" as their tagline. Team members who have not seen it: your homework is to watch it. There's only one season. You can do it.

6- Once again foiled by the ol' Phil Collins/Genesis confusion. Props on this round to Craig for Jesus Built My Hotrod and to me for sticking with my Power of Love guns. Props also to BPBs for kicking our butt this round.

Notable feature of the night: profusion of cheaters. Go Drew for calling them on it. Seriously, why do people think this makes them clever? I will never understand.

Bonus trivia: Krist Novoselic is in fact an elected representative: a State Committeeman (which sounds a lot like Town Selectman to me, but whatevr) and an advocate for electoral reform.

Memory lane cruise of the night: Craig and I both owned copies of the Elvis Musical Pop-Up which is rockin' awesome except that it misled us to think that GI Blues was his first movie. Oh well. At least we got to reminisce about 3-D renderings of the King in movable cardboard.

Quotes of the night:

1) "Angelina Jolie's got twins on the way."

"From Africa?"

2) "Did you hear about the AIDS vaccine?"

"What - condoms?"

3) "I don't think 'roids would help with trivia."

"No, but they'd sure help you with baseball."

And the standings:

For the night:

1. Wes and the Sexies

2. Travis

3. 2TB

4. PHDTS

5. Bite the Pillow

And overall:

1. Travis - 267.5

2. PHDTS - 238.5

3. BSB - 231

4. BPB - 228.5

5. Wes - 226

That was your thrilling recap. Libya has an all-green flag. Good night.

Oooooh, faced. Scratch moded.

Sorry, sorry, sorry for the delay. My only excuse is my harrowing tale of survival in the wilds of the Qu'Appelle Valley from which I emerged with only my baby in my arms. But that's another story.

More importantly, trivia last week was awesome. Mostly because not only were both James and I there at the same time (hoorah for Michelle!) but the Craiggers was there in full trivia uniform. Almost at full strength (miss you, Cindy), Team Travis was unstoppable.

Mad props to our sister team, the BPBs, for a) their play-by-play live blogging (yes, that's a BPB PBP), and b) for defending our honour in said blog.

Here is a poor excuse for a recap.

Round 1 -- Starts with a bang with something involving pi. Thank God for Steve-know.

Round 2 -- Billboard hits on Sept. 23 through the ages. Now there's an obscure category for ya. We enjoyed default beer -- the second-sweetest beer -- because the Great Western team actually won that round. Oh, and now we know it's them we can thank for the team name with the most disturbing visual.

I wrote down "Grill's Craig impression brought the house down," but I can't for the life of me remember what he did. Well done, anyway.

Round 3 -- Our favouritest round ever, the theme trivia round. We celebrated a little hard when we figured out the Michael Jackson song link, which led to the brilliant mind of Craig figuring out Billie Jean King, and James pulling the Black and White Minstrel Show out of nowhere. (How's that blackface for a disturbing visual?)

We got everything but "lambeg," which led us to think we would have 9.5 points, but I think we were awarded 10. Take that, everyone else! Ooooh, faced. Scratch moded.

Round 4 -- Wha? I was distracted by pizza. And the Kikoman wishbone. Oh, lounge songs. Thank God for Travis.

At this point in the evening, we began what would prove to be an extensive discussion on the benefits, mechanics, and drawbacks of beating off into a stolen latex glove on your way home from your factory job. This discussion would somehow manage to make it all the way through to the end of the night, eliciting a couple of good'ers:

"Wouldn't it be a better scam if he just did it on the clock?" -- Travis

"I would never get home. I'd be pulling over ever five minutes." -- Buchan

Round 5 -- James pulling out the X-treme geek knowledge with the names of the actors who played C3PO and R2D2. That's my man, ladies. Hands off.

Round 6 -- the pressure is on because we have the almighty "Stop!" privileges. We did our best not to give the bar more than 2 seconds of a song, and pissed everyone off in the process. Sometimes it feels so good to be a jerk. Thankfully we were surpassed by 2TB on this round, so we can rest easy next week.

I wrote down "Famous movie scenes! Star Wars toys! GI Joe aircraft carrier!" Do with that what you will.

So that was a four-pitcher night, three of which we drank. Good on us.

This round of trivia resulted in a bit of homework for the team. Sorry to post your assignment so late. You'd better get on the following:

1. Looking up John Ratzenberger in Star Wars. Cliff Clayvin. In actual Star Wars. And he's not schilling (sp?) for Boston Pizza.

2. Finding the flashing extra in Teen Wolf. Real wang, on screen!

Lessons learned this week/Quotable quotes:

1. Both Stephen Hawking and Craig are unable to estimate the mass of the universe, but at least Craig can raise his hand to stop the song.

2. Be warned that if Buchan is about to orgasm, you should stand well back. Just in case that ever comes up (haw) in your everyday life.

3. "And what's-her-name on the front of the boat? It's not even cool. It doesn't feel like you're flying. It feels like you're standing on a boat." -Craig

4. Don't bother putting tag lines on the round 6 sheets because by that point in the evening, Drew can't read anymore.

5. "The other night I woke up thinking I was having a heart attack and it ended in a 30-second-long burp." -Name witheld to protect the innocent eater of a mondo burrito

6. No need to worry about us cheating because we have "an imaginary god that tells us we can't."

So the standings for the night:

1. Travis - 51

2. PHDTS - 44.5

3. Cream? - 43.5

4. BPB - 41.5

5. 2TB - 41

And the running tally:

1. Travis 138.5

2. PHDTS 122

3. BPB 116.5

4. BSB 113.5

5. RNR 111

Go team.

Team Travis = Total Trivia Trio

First off, let me say that I offer a poor, poor substitute for the blog brilliance of our friend Steve-know. I hear he's really busy prepping during fourth period, so you'll have to put up with me for now.

Secondly, we miss Cindy and Craig and Andrea. We miss them a lot.

Thirdly, we bloody well rock. Not only did Travis, Steve, Steve, and James kick ass and score top spot for us in week one, but Travis, Steve, and I maintained our top spot in week two, and increased our overall lead to TEN PINTS! I mean, points. Seriously, we need more team members there to share the beer.

Yes, that's right, just the three of us. We can make it if we try.

So here's the rundown:

Start time: 9:30.

Intended start time: 9:00.

Engineer who personally contacted James to see if anyone was going to show up from our team or if they should just start without us: The man himself, Grill.

Engineer who now has a fancy job and has to get up in the morning, thus making trivia start and end at a time much more amenable to us old folks: Grill.

Engineer who is on paid leave this week because his bosses think he's into needle drugs: Grill.

Most persistent harassment of Craig: me.

Round one

I arrived just as question three was being asked, but the Geers cut me a break and read me the first two questions. Thx! It didn't make much difference since I had no earthly clue what the answers were, but I appreciated the gesture. I sure as hell knew the answer to question three, though: shortest verse in the Bible? "Jesus wept." Thassright.

Much to my relief, Travis arrived before the round was out, so we could be clueless together. We didn't do too badly, though -- 6/10, losing to the venerable Bipolar Bears, and, most importantly, beating PHDTS.

Round two

Ladies and gentlemen, our very own Travis, of Team Travis fame, single-handedly beat the combined wisdom of the entire bar and won the first music round. He answered every single question solo and got a whopping 8.5/10, beating everyone, including PHDTS. Sweet sweet victory beer was ours.

Round three

With the arrival of Buchan, our team grew by... wait... 50 per cent? Help me, Cindy.

Gotta love it when you guess the round theme early. After Lincoln, Saturn, and Tesla, we figured correctly that car makes and models would be the common thread, making for extra success. Yes. 9/10, which didn't win (seriously, there's a car called the Bongo?!) but more importantly, we beat PHDTS.

Round four

Movie trailers which were unfortunately impossible to hear from our table, but we figured out the Clooney connection. 7/10 -- really? We suspect there were some pity points awarded in there. Not that we're arguing; we'll totally take them. Especially since the cinephiles over at PHDTS took the round.

Round five

A toughie. A female donkey is a Jenny, and according to some totally made-up crap that Drew and Grill totally made up, the plural of octopus is octopodes. My octoass.

This round did teach us a valuable lesson, though: when in doubt, the answer is beer.

Also "Sex and the Weslies" had the endearing tag line of "Older than Travis."

4/10, sadly, but at least we tied PHDTS.

Round six

Shame on the otherwise fabulous Alexis for trying to ruin the round by shouting out answers. At least she got one wrong, giving Travis yet another chance to shine as the Human Encyclopedia of Music. 10/10, bitches! That's another pitcher and another victory over our rivals, PHDTS.

Buchan on Travis' music knowledge: "It's a tad ridiculous."

Victory is all the more sweet now because, as Buchan pointed out, the pitchers are now $15.50. So when we generously shared our round six and overall pitchers with The Joel and a random table of other folks, we were being even more ... generous. Is there a synonym for generous? If there is, that's what we are.

Quote of the night also goes to Buchan: "There's probably a lot I don't know about Jamaican rum." Sounds to me like a challenge, teammates.

So the standings for the evening:

1. TRAVIS 45

2. BPB 42

3. BSB 41.5

4. PHDTS 40.5

5. 2TB

and the overalls:

1. TRAVIS! 87.5

2. PHDTS 77.5

3. JCL 76.5

4. BPB 75

5. BSB

And that, my friends, is total trivia domination.

Week 11 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-James, Trivia-Kari. Steve-Know, Cindy, The Original Craig T. Nelson.

Pitchers Won: too many, I got about three lines typed before having to go call dinosaurs


Round 1
We began the night with a win. We got 8 points. Hitler, who is the only team on our radar got 5.5.

I'm surprised that Stay-Puffed only knew that many. Isn't all of PHDTS carried by the villian from Ghostbusters I?

Tonight the Owl was full of athletes from their award night. In short, they are all assholes.

Quote: "How would the athletes like it if I went and sat in the middle of their court and did trivia? They'd be all like 'Hey get off the court!' " -Trivia James.

Yes the athletes were annoying and loud. What do you expect? The average IQ on the upper level was probably 50. When you combine mental disabilities with booze you're just asking for trouble.

Anyways, returning to the trivia, we got a 8 and won the round. Hitler got 5.5. Nice.


Round 2

This round didn't go so well for us. It didn't really go well for anyone though. We got 5 and Hitler got 6.

I learned that Macs used to cost $666.666 which is proof that Macs are satanic. Also, apparently China only has one time code. Also none of the priests in the Vatican have managed to get pregnant, or at least have the child in the city.

Highlights of this round included Alexis telling the jocks to STFU. Nice.

Round 3

Hmmm. I really appreciate all that Drew and Grill do for us at trivia. With that nicety out of the way, let me tell you how shitty this round was. Grill played some of the shittiest shit known to man. It was all there, Slayer, Megadeath, pure feces. In fact, the sound of one of my dumps hitting the toilet water is more enjoyable than this stuff. This music was worse than shit.

Quote: "I don't think that winning that round is anything you should be proud of. It exposes the shittiness of your life." -Kari

We got a 1.5. Yay. Hitler got 2.5.

Round 4

This was a clever round. The theme was the board game 'Clue'. It almost redeemed Grill from his colon-emptying performance in the previous round. Almost.

The best part is, we won. Cindy recognized the theme and then it all fell apart. Us 10. Hitler 9.

Drew's feelings were hurt by our tagline "Drew and Grill don't have a clue." Awwwwww.

Round 5

This was a neat idea. Symphonies playing video game themes. Too bad the stupid jocks were too loud. Not a good showing for us here. US 3, Hitler 4.

"I couldn't hear a Buchan thing." -Trivia-James.

It is around this point that the extreme-drunkeness set in. My notes of the evening become much less detailed. I'll make some shit up from now on.

Round 6

Another win for us. We got 9 points and PHDTS got 8.

Two guys on PHDTS made out in front of the whole bar. Wow a gay pda.

Round 7

We had the ultimate debate of all time. Arrogant Worms or Captain Tractor. Luckily no one listened to me. It was the Arrogant Worms.

We scored a 7.5 however Hitler got 9. Schizen.

The big guy from PHDTS took off his pants and ran around the bar three times yelling "Oprah is my savior and freemasons rule the country" he sat down after like nothing had happened.

Grill explained to us all how he loves stuff that White people like. Especially yoga.

Round 8

True or False.

Question 1. Did Grill have 1,000,500 dicks in his mouth? False. (it was 1,000,400)

We won this round as well with 7 points. Just what we needed, another pitcher of beer. Now things are getting really blurry.

Grill told a very vivid and descriptive story over the microphone about the first time his mom caught him pleasuring himself to the Sears catalogue. No one laughed. It was awkward.

Somewhere in the midst of all of this drinking I cashed in our free tickets from the Great Western rep. I got to deal with Ben who was absolutely thrilled to give out free beer (sarcasm). I don't know what his problem was. I should write a lie about him.

Ben asked me if I was dermatologist because he needed advice about a rash he had got "down there". I was stunned. If I was a doctor I sure as hell wouldn't be a dermatologist. What a stupid question.

The Joel also had 8 dicks in his mouth.

Round 9

Hmm, all I have written is 7.5 PHDTS, 7 Travis.

Oh yeah I think this was Alexis' singing round. She did a good job again, singing in front of the whole place and all.


















I could do better. Especially if it was a Louis Armstrong song. I rule at Louis Armstrong.

Round 10

Alexis performed the final beaking. It was pretty good. However, she did manage to get damned for all eternity after she took a shot at our team's spiritual elder.

I don't really remember much more from the night. I spent the night calling dinosaurs so it must have been a good time.

We didn't win for the year.

The numbers I got from Drew and Grill were suspicious though. Hitler only won by 1 point according to them. I'm not so sure about this.

Travis 454
Push Her Down The Stairs 455

Hitler made themselves a trophy. The all did body shots off of the biggun's naked chest from the trophy. I'm pretty sure whoever wins the trivia next semester will not want that trophy.

CSIS came in and arrested Alexis for running a terrorist cell. Drew announced his future sex change operation (he's going to go back to being a man). Craig finally went unleashed and killed 6 or 7 people for making fun of Newfies. I saw him rip a jock's head clean off. Grill came out of the closet before we left the bar.

And that just about does it. We are still the greatest team ever. We have won the majority of the Owl's trivia seasons. That's nothing to be ashamed of. Further, we have never cheated. Ever.

Week 11 Season 1 2009
Pre-trivia update.

This is it ladies and gentlemen. The final countdown.

We have fought long and hard to defeat Hitler. Tomorrow is D-day. We have ten rounds of all out war to rid the world of all that is evil. If we fail, I know how to kill myself like a man.

I found some inspiring words before the battle:

All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
-Winston Churchill

Notice how Churchill didn't mention "cellphones" or "cheating" as great things. I thought Hitler and Churchill got along.... I might need to read more history.

By the way leave your 9th and 10th players home this week Hitler. Geez.

We are going to prove that Dark Helmet was wrong when he said "Evil will always triumph over Good, because Good is dumb."

To conclude this rallying speech I will summon the power of Thundera
Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats HOOOOOOO!

That should do it.

Week 10 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-James, Steve-Know, Cindy, The Original Craig T. Nelson.

Pitchers Won: 2

I asked Craig to post the trivia blog this week. He must have been confused. He posted these instead.

Week 9 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-Kari, Steve-Know, Cindy, The Original Craig T. Nelson.

Pitchers Won: 1

I apologize for both the lateness and brevity of this trivia update. I am currently swamped with a pile of school work almost as disgusting as PHDTS. Any Travisonian who would like to put something here is welcome to do so.

Umm yeah, PHDTS sucks.

Steve-Know

Week 8 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-James, Steve-Know, Cindy, The Original Craig T. Nelson.

Pitchers Won: 3 Boo Yeah


Round 1
We began the night with a win. We got 9 points. Other teams who matter got:
8 Wes
7 Bi-Polar Bears (honourable)
7 Hitler (not so honourable)

Some other insignificant team actually tied us, but they had 12 players, so we won. The two greatest words in the English language: Dee Fault! Dee Fault! Dee Fault!
Yay, we're +2 against Hitler again.

I made a special set of gauntlets to mark the occasion.
























Round 2
Once again we had a tie at 9.5 points. The tie breaker song was "Piece of Shit Car" by Adam Sandler. Well F that S.

Anyways, PHDTS who probably all drive piece of shit cars knew the answer first. They probably also do funny things with shampoo bottles if you know what I'm saying.

Ok, here's my biggest shit storm complaint of the night. PHDTS cheated all F'ing night again. They had 9 players, and I know that I'm be a picky dick. Here's the thing: it's a tight race. I know that they are going to say "He sat back when the questions were being asked." (which is only true for earlier rounds) Here's the thing, I watched that guy chime in numerous times tonight. Unless he was telling jokes that were so funny every one nodded instead of laughing, he was answering questions. But wait there's more, this new guy was using his cell phone too. Awesome.

I leave it to Drew to do something about this. However Drew had his hands full tonight (we'll get to the best part of the night in a bit).

Round 3

Here's a little on house fun. We had a pretty good fight on our team about which continent was the only one that did not have a desert. Craig and Jim were pretty sure that it was Antarctica, and Buchan and Andrea were hard set on Europe. Well Grew said it was Europe. But wait there's this. That's right, there's a desert in Europe as well. I knew there was a reason I didn't answer. Deep down I knew that they were both wrong.....

The highlight of this round had to be Craig showing us all his bulge. He hiked up his pants and I took this photo:


Craig got us our victory beer for the round with his pants in this layout. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we won another round boohyashacka. In fact, we gained another 2 points on Hitler. Good stuff.

While Craig was getting the beer, Drew decided to pants him. I knew Drew was excited to have Craig back, but I thought he would exhibit better self control.

Quote: "I've got a semi." Rev. Jim (about our performance, not about the pantsing or Craig's bulge-show)

Round 4 The Theme Round

Tonight's theme was national anthems. Well we knew all but one of them. Ok, well we made correct educated guesses on all but one of them. We didn't know the chinese national anthem. I know the Japanese one. (Sorry for exposing you to that).

Hitler used their cell phone's on Oh Canada.

Now once again for the night, we had a tie with Hitler (who had 9 players). We sent up Steve B. for the tie breaker. Hitler launched a different weapon. Here's how the battle looked:














Steve did ok, but Hitler triumphed. Schizen.

Quotes
"To be honest, screwing in the bathroom is not about romance." Steve-know.
"To be honest, do you ever get so horny at trivia that you have to go boff in the bathroom?" Trivia-James

Our startling revelation this round (keeping with the bathroom theme), was that they should put the handicap urinal in the middle. Thus the rule of 1-3-5... will be better obeyed. (I bet the ladies are laughing at this bit).

Round 5
A "Friends" theme round.
Ok, I really appreciate all of the work that Grew and Drill put into trivia. Going the extra distance with common-themed rounds is a great idea. Here's the problem. Friends is arguably the worst piece of shit ever to make it on television. I would rather watch Rita MacNeil jump naked on a trampoline than be forced to watch (or listen to) one second of the disgusting drecch. Here's a computer script that writes an episode of Friends:

t=0
{
Do { output: "Line" //not funny
output: "HAHAHAHA" //shitty brainless laugh track
}
While: {t<22}
t=t+1
}

Here's what it produces:

line
HAHAHAHA
line
HAHAHAHA
(repeat 20 more times)

There you go, each line takes one minute, and in total you've wasted a half hour of your life (once the commercials are blended in).

There. I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Round 6
Alexis was absent tonight (we didn't get out carried over beer). I fear that my comment about her beaks a few weeks ago may have mortally wounded her. Someone else did the beak. And then things got really interesting.

We had a lady who was new at trivia tonight. She was not impressed with the pace that trivia moved at. (In Drew's defence, Grill was away, and he only had a mangina to help him.)

She got loud. And mad. Really mad.

Drew responded by using the microphone to his advantage and made her look worse. Then he took his sweet ass time getting the round going.

She got more mad.

Now, I'm leaving out where she works and what she does for the Department of Sociology at this university because I have class. Some things are just wrong.

Apparently their table was there because of a facebook group called "Vote for Change" or something like that.

Anyways, the culmination of the event was Drew and being talked to by a dude (ogre) from her table. Here's how it looked:


















Quote: "You know what's not cool? When you have to send up your boyfriend to deal with it." Steve B.

Yes, their table's Shrek did not look happy. I think it's because Drew announced where the lady at the table works. I bet Drew wants to borrow my gauntlets.

Returning to the trivia round, things went shitty for us.

We lost all of our lead points on Hitler for the night except for 1/2 a point, which was enough to net us the overall win for the night.

I think that Tom Cochrane White Hot (actual name from Craig) sounds a lot like Bon Jovi Runaway at the beginning. I know they aren't the exact same, but at least I'm not crazy.

Ok, to summarize tonight's trivia:

-too late
-too many players (on hitler)
-too funny (lady freaking on Drew)
-too legit to quit
-too shitty (Friends, that is)

The scores for the night are:

1. Travis 49.5
2. Hitler 49
3. Wes 46.5
4. Broad Street Brawlers 45.5
5. dunno (Bi-Polar Bears?) 43
6. Bite the pillow 44.

Overall scores for the season as best as I can get are:

1. Hitler 320
2. Travis 312.5
3. Broad Street Brawlers 298.5

I cannot say anything more regarding standings with certainty.

Week 7 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-Kari, Steve-Know, Cindy

Pitchers Won: 3 Boo Yeah


Round 1
Gwahahahaha a perfect 10. We showed our true trivia prowess by destroying the first round. The next closest team was Hitler, with 7 points. That right, we started the night off by gaining three points on the vacuously disgusting, perverted and filthy Hitlers.
Some fun things that we knew were:

How many humps a bactrian camel has (2).
What a wormhole is (well, what a wormhole may be).
Djoser built the first pyramid.

Yes we thoroughly spanked that first round. Things were off to a great start, but then......

Round 2

Shit. We got a 5. Grew and Drill have taken up a love of country music or something. Hitler's cell phone knew 8 of the questions. Dammit, we gain 3 points on them only to lose them in the next round.........yaaargh.

Here's how losing points on Hitler felt.
Round 3

This was a fun round. (So was the first btw. Did I mention how awesome we did in the first round?) The worst part about this round, is that we got a 7, and we had pondered the correct answers for 2 of the ones we got wrong.

Where on the human body would you find the thinnest layer of skin? We said 'lips'. Apparently its the 'eyelids', which we debated.

What is the fastest non-mechanical sport? We chose bobsled. The inner physicist knew that skydiving was faster (after Travis (the person) brought it up). Our debate was over whether or not skydiving is a sport. I don't think it is. Big whoop, you leapt out of a plane. In the words of Buzz Lightyear, the rest is just falling with style.

The one question we didn't know was what 'pop' in 'pop goes the weasel' means. Apparently it's a bit of English cockney, and 'pop' means 'to pawn'. We assumed it meant to kill a weasel, and that this children's nursery rhyme was no different from any other one and involved killing something. (it turns out the pawning is so that people can buy booze in some interpretations).

Now I would like to take a moment to address some concerns that have brought to my attention. Some complain that this blog is too far right and that I'm a right wing crackpot. Well here's something for the lefties regarding weasels:







































Note the weasel fur jackets lefties. These guys love having red paint thrown on them as they are engineers.

Somehow I seem to have gotten off track.

Round 3 ended with us getting 7, Hitler got 6. Sweet.


Round 4. The Theme Round

Tonight's theme was game show themes. Well I would like to brag about our 10, but there was a 6 way tie for first, and one of those teams was Hitler. Being in league with them some how lessens the perfect score....

Anyways, BF Prentice, our expansion team, yelled out the answer loudest (but not first) and won the beer.

Fun round.

Round 5

The guys put together a clever theme round where all of the answers had a common theme; they were 'nuts'.

Ok, here's my beef, christmas trees are not necessarily pine. All you said was conifers. Wikipedia lists 12 common types of Christmas trees used in North America, and 7 of them are firs (which we put down as our answer), the other 5 are pine. 7>5. Do I have to do another math proof this week?

Anyways, the theme was clever.

Us 5, Hitler 6. Shitty.

Round 6

Hmmm something strange is going on. Alexis came out and told us that she was not going to beak us for the rest of the semester. She claims that she is saving up for some sort of mega-beak at the end of the semester. Then she proceeded to do her best to hold in her hatred for us. Some of it still slipped out. "You guys better be lubing up your assholes. Be prepared for the beak of your life."

The round went swell for us: a 9.5 and Hitler only got... I think it was 6.5.

The point is, we won the night. Boo yeah!! Then we were faced with a predicament. It's late, no one is drinking a lot on our team and we just won 2 pitchers of beer. Props go to Alexis for letting us carry over a pitcher.

The results for the season thus far are:

6. 2 Tall Broads 240
5. Wes 241
4. Bi-Polar Bears 245
3. Broad Street Brawlers 253
2. Travis 263
1. Hitler 271

This was one of the most satisfying Trivia nights in awhile. Good times guys and gals.

Week 6 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-James, Steve-Know, Cindy, Michelle, The Original Craig T. Nelson.

Pitchers Won: 1

To begin tonight's recap, I would like to wish Craig a happy b-day!

Round 1

We thoroughly spanked this round (even if we only got 8). I didn't write any of the actual questions down because I couldn't reach around my giant erection summoned by our performance. That's right. I think our knowledge is sexy.

We actually gained 2 points on Hitler in this round.
Note that Hitler=PHDTS
Want proof?

Proof By Contradiction

Assume PHDTS is not Hitler
Let a=PHDTS
Let b=not Hitler

(from our hypothesis)

2. Multiply through by a

3. Subtract

4. Factor both sides

5. Divide out

6. Observing that

7. Combine like terms on the left

8. Divide by the non-zero b

We have arrived at a contradiction. Since 2 obviously does not equal 1, our assumption must be false, and PHDTS must be Hitler. Don't act so surprised.

Round 2 Well we tied Hitler anyways.

This was a fun round. Drew had a nice Freudian slip when he called the team 'Children of the Cornhole', "Children Cornhole" which revealed to everyone what Drew really has on his mind all the time. Perv.

However, Drew's not all bad. When some team named themselves "The Cheaters, Catch Us If You Can", Drew rather wittly replied, "Yeah, well you didn't cheat enough." in response to their shittiness. Nice. Now PHDTS is apparently filling out 2 cards per round?

Also, the Bi-Polar Bears, our honourable brethren, get a shout out for their tagline: "PHDTS should have cell phones on their new shirts."

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Hitler has uniforms now.

Round 3

Well, I would formally like to apologize for getting a bonus wrong.
Here's a photo I took with my camera:




















I know what you're wondering "Does she have nice tits?" Yes, she does.
Fuck beans, why did I get that wrong? (not what it's called, but rather where it is)
Note: I went to Paris before Amsterdam, so there's no blaming my memory loss on that.

Hitler fired back this round with: "The Bi-Polar Bears should have vaginas on their shirt because they are a bunch of crusty vaginas." No-one likes Hitler anyways.

Round 4 Movie Quotes.

Note: Hitler is getting a degree in watching movies. Why the hell did I torture myself with a Science degree? Oh yeah, because I'm not Hitler.
The Good Guys 8
Hitler 10

Round 5 Drew and Grill Get Their Rape On

Yowzers. We got a 4. (At least Hitler only got a 3).

Apparently the most common pub name in England is "The Red Lion".
This page says "The Crown" is actually the most common name. In fact, so does Wikipedia.

I said "the local" ie. what most English people call their local pub. Again wrong. I cannot be allowed to answer without supervision from now on.

End result: The Good Guys: 4. Hitler 3, (2 Guys 1 Cup won the round with 5).


Round 6

Alexis beaked. She always does. Eventually all you hear is, "Are you scared of me? I hope so."
She wanted to show us her new unicorn tattoo, here's a photo I took of it.

I agree, it is very detailed. I'm not sure if Alexis knows what a unicorn is however.

Then the round started. We got 7, Hitler got 8.

Less importantly, Broad Street Brawlers got 6. Alexis announced to the bar that she shit the bed. Incontinence is hilarious.

Overall
Well holyfuckinblitzkrieg Hitler gained more points on us tonight! The scores for the season thus far are:

1. Hitler 227.5
2. Travis 216.5
3. Broad Street Brawlers 209.5
4. Wes 206.5
5. Bi-Polar Bears 206
6. 2-Tall Broads 200.5

The funniest thing that I bore witness to tonight was the actions of a bunch of metal-heads. They asked us "Are you guys hunters? What do you hunt?" in response to our orange headgear.
One of them mutters "Metal-heads" thinking that he is awesome, and we're a bunch of elitist squares.
The first thing that popped into my mind was 'Meth-heads', but I didn't feel like getting my ass kicked, so I didn't reply with that. We ignored them.
Once they realized that they were about to be asked questions if they stayed in the bar they instantly fled.
Here's the lesson: Deep down, the ultimate weapon that a nerd has over an uneducated toad is that the toad is scared shitless of being assessed. Ask them questions, they hate it. Good stuff.

Week 5 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Steve-B, Trivia-Kari, Trivia-James, Steve-Know, Cindy

Quasi Support: Ashley, Gus (but never at the same time).

Pitchers won: Zero, unless we count the early attendance pitcher, which I practically ran over a girl I know to get.

We had another fun night of trivia, and it was excellent to have Kari AND James with us. The brain trust was almost complete....we just need Craig T. Nelson. We miss you Craig.

Round 1
This round looked pretty good for us, Kari and James knew the three car companies named after a person that start with "C". I guessed Star Wars for one and was correct. Travis showed off his tri-bond skills and knew that music, prisons, and soap all were bars. Overall it went quite nicely, but we didn't win.

BF Prentice, A.K.A the team that Cindy told about trivia beat us.

(In fact, they handily won the night. I hate them now.)

Round 2
Young whippersnapper music. My old balls descended another foot. We got 7.5, PHDTS got 9.5, it appears that their cell phones are working.

Round 3
The Sex Trivia Round

We didn't know a lot, but we sure learned. Drew and Grill ought to be Sex-Ed teachers. Grill might have to be less disgustingly drunk all the time. Here's some fun facts:

1. Sperm is good for your teeth!! I thought PHDTS had been using whitening strips.
2. Sperm has a speed of 29mph when fired. That must hurt PHDTS's uvula.
3. 8% of people prefer receiving anal. I'm guessing there was about 100 people in the bar, and 8 people on PHDTS.......just saying.
4. I wrote the Kama Sutra. My writing alias is Mallanaga Vatsyayana.

Overall, we got a 4. Ouch. Nobody did great though.

Round 4
The theme round!!! Sweet, it's SNES Themes.

1. F-Zero
2. Donkey Kong Country
3. Rocknroll Raching
4.Star Fox
5. Chrono Trigger
6. Street Fighter 2
7 Super Mario World
8. Zombies ate my Neighbor
9. Sin City
10. Mario Cart Battle Mode

We got 7 correct. There was a three way tie for the teams that got 8 points. Oh sure, now you play the theme to Zelda. Fun round.

Round 5

Props to Cindy for knowing that 7-up used to have lithium in it. Props to James for knowing an aerial is what the Brits call an antennae. Drew and Grill asked a bible question. James destroyed it.

Drew and Grill also asked a question about fonts again. What's the deal guys? We got it right (Kari), I'm just wondering what the infatuation with fonts is lately?

The end result of round 3 was a three way tie, us, BF Prentice, PHDTS.

The Tie Breaker Question: How big is a blue whale's rod? Of course PHDTS knew that. They love dicks!! Here's a photo I found online:















They actually have it touching their face(s). Gross. Also their tongues are hanging out. How much can I further discredit these guys?

Round 6
Alexis and her bar team deserve a round of applause for winning the challenge. They got a perfect 10.

Overall Scores

For the night
1. BF Prentice 47
2. PHDTS 45
3. Travis 43
4. 2 Tall Broads 40.5
5. Wes 39.5

For the season
1. PHDTS 182 (see above photo)
2. Travis 173
3. Broad Street Brawlers 171
4. Wes 163.5
5. Bi-Polar Bears 162.5
6. 2 Tall Broads 160.5

Overall, another satisfying night of trivia (except for the pesky fact that we're not way out in the lead where we prefer to be). It was great to almost have the whole team together.

Oh and I almost forgot the highlight of the night: Mitch got busted making out with a girl in the can. Drew and Grill did the right thing and announced it to the whole bar for maximum humiliation. Their walk of shame back to their chairs was priceless.
Steve B. coming back to our table from th bathroom after missing the announcement and subsequent humiliation and telling us, "Dude, you see that girl and that guy over there? They were totally making out in the can." added a nice final touch.

Sorry for the lateness of the post, but it just felt good to go to bed on Wednesday night for once.

Week 4 Season 1 2009

Members in Attendance: Travis, Andrea, Craig T. Nelson, RevJim, Steve-Know, Cindy

It is great to see Andrea back after a month long sabbattical from trivia (which I hope she spent memorizing the encyclopedia).

Pitchers won: 1


Ok, let me begin tonight's recap again on a happy note: tonight was fun!!

I know, right now you're going "He's not going to say anything edgy, or overly offensive, and he's probably not going to mention guns at all. I better go whack-off/double-click-the-mouse to photos of Bea Arthur instead of reading this." (who knew PHDTS could paint?) I still urge you to read on.

Round 1
Ouch a 5.5. There's a whole team whose name is something like "Can we get a five at least?" It must suck to be them.
We were disappointed with this round. Especially since we flipped the coin on a couple, and got both of the coin flips wrong (sorry James, Days of Thunder was correct).

Trivia James gets big time points for knowing a group of monkeys is called a troop; I was sure the answer was "Push Her Down the Stairs" (I bet Drew and Grill would accept this as an answer).

Round 2
A 7.5 for the good guys (not enough for a win, which was an 8.5 for 2 Tall Broads). We couldn't name an Amanda Marshall song. I sure as hell am not ashamed at this. Not one bit. Amanda Marshall's Discography was actually on my list of the 12 Worst Songs of 2004, but then this came out.

Other than that, it was a fun round.

Round 3
ok, I'm going to break this down as best I can:

1. In the Chinese Zodiac, what is the animal whose name comes first alphabetically? Well the answer given was Dog, too easy, and I'm sure that they would have been eaten anyways. Please tell me you have seen Gran Torino?

Well, might I direct you here. That's right, Cindy-Know, knew that the Boar was the actual animal. Last time I checked B comes before D, but I only took 2 English classes here. not like you guys..... oh wait, engineers only take English 100, and they can fail three times!!! Not like other faculties. Sorry, that's a cheap shot, I'm sure you both got solid C's.

2. Ostrich, we knew that (I think credit goes to Cindy-Know again).

3. The question was, unless I'm mistaken, which never happens, was : "What team has been in every world cup since it started in 1930?"
Well it would appear that Brazil has been in it 18 times. So since I don't know a fucking thing about soccer what I learned tonight is that there has been 18 world cups since 1930. Good to know.

4. Where does Balaclava come from?
To quote Grill: "The first time I had sex in the park, I wanted her to not see my face (for obvious reasons), so I pulled a black shirt over my face and tied it at the back. Then I cut some eye holes. She was from some weird country and instead of yelling 'No', she kept making sounds like 'bellaclavva'. I took the name from there and spread it throughout the world."

5. Columbus was Italian. Fuck I watched a whole episode of Sopranos about Columbos Day. I'm kicking myself.

6,7,8,9,10: We knew them all.

Intermission: The Owl Staff tonight get a big high five for not giving us our pizza, and then making us raise shit to get one. (We actually saw our pizza delivered to the wrong table). The number was not given out over the mic, our pizza was delivered, to the wrong table.

Well Craig T. Nelson a.k.a. Clark Kent would have none of this. Here's how it went down:













That's right, Craig punched a burrowing owl he was so mad at the owl staff.

Now that it's the end of round three, I would ike to point out that it's 11:30.

But wait, there's more:

Grill: "Craig, Shopper's Drug Mart has a sale on Just For Men".
Craig: " You would know because you read the Shoppers flyer every week and beat off to it."
I have nothing to add to this.

Round 4

We got a 9. As per usual, round 4 was awesome. It was movie themes, and they were good. I was so excited I broke my pen.

Travis (the person) knew a shit load: The Rock, Speed, I can't remember the rest.....good stuff.

Round 5
We got a 9. Then I had to go up for the tie breaker (it was actually my first time, the other time I went up the other team was BSB and we won by default). I won the round by answering the question before Drew could finish it. BooYeah. I hate to brag, but I was pretty happy to win my first showdown.

Round 6
We got a 6.5. That's even a little young for Tillman. (foo far?)

I have decided that our team's problem is this: We are too smart. We know two answers to every question. Then making the decision is the hard part.

Here's the night's scores
44 Broad Street Brawlers
43 PHDTS
42 Some team with a B
41.5 Travis
40.5 Bite the Pillow Bitch.....
40.5 Wes
40 2 Tall Broads
39.5 Bi-Polar Bears

Season Scores
1. PHDTS 137
2. BSB 134
3. Travis 130
4. Bi-Polar Bears 126
5. Wes 124
6. Bite the Pillow 120
7. 2 Tall Broads 120


Hmm all I can say is that I sure liked things better when PHDTS sat right in front of Drew and Grill rather than on the stage...............just saying.

Maybe I better threaten them with..... a slingshot, or a sword or something I don't know......

Week 3 Season 1 2009

This week we can all thank the trivia Gods that Drew and Grill were back. Trivia was fun again.

Drew and Grill actually know what trivia is; not random songs from someone who hates mainstream's Ipod.

Members in Attendance: Cindy, Steve-know, Travis, and Trivia-Kari
Additional Support: Pancho, Buchan, Mike, Owen (sp?, sorry)

Round 1

Meh, Travis did ok. We knew some stuff, and I made up other things.

Ok, we knew what a neat drink was, but I know that he knows better.

Apparently elephants know how to step around landmines now. Good for them. I still am glad that Dumbo's mom ate it in Chapter 1. I would have done it if I was there. Here's how it would have gone down:











I don't care, if I catch PHDTS cheating, and every one of them has their mom hugging them, I think we know what's going to happen. Who let a redkneck write this thing anyways?

Now we're off topic, I was talking about elephants.

Keeping with the animal theme, apparently grizzly bears can run the same speed as horses. Now I don't know if every horse is a quarter horse, but just to be sure I found this.

Also, there was a question about what small asteroids are called. The answer given was meteorites. We knew that meteorites are bits of matter that have fallen to the earth from outer space. And we were wrong. Oh wait......
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/meteorite
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meteorites
http://www.answers.com/topic/meteorite

Ok, apparently we don't know what asteroids are:

http://www.answers.com/topic/asteroids
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/asteroid

Asteroid:
Astronomy
Any of numerous small celestial bodies that revolve around the sun, with orbits lying chiefly between Mars and Jupiter and characteristic diameters between a few and several hundred kilometers. Also called minor planet, planetoid.

But apparently a small asteroid is a meteorite:

Meteorite
n.

A stony or metallic mass of matter that has fallen to the earth's surface from outer space.

So is an asteroid not small until it falls to the earth?

Sorry to be a dick, but this seemed wrong to the physicists at the table (a.k.a. me and the other Steve).

The correct answer is that small asteroids are made fun of in the shower in all team sports until they grow old enough to get away from their parents who made them play the sports in the first place. Then they start serial killing.


Round 2.

A 10.
I mean to say that we got a 10, because we knew all of the answers.

We got a 9.5, as did our honourable brethren the Bi-Polar Bears.

It was a tie for first, BSB got 10, and so did Push Her Down the Stairs! Well holy shit! Cell phone check!!!! Even though they claim the angry Hobbit is not on their team anymore I still feel like their team is forever scarred, and if they want to be respected they should change their name to something like: "We Haven't Been Caught Cheating a Shit Load of Times", or "We're Worthy of a Slight Nod From Teams That Don't Cheat".

Round 3

(drunken joke that was here before, but made no sense is now removed)

Anyways, we were all delighted to find out the Shakespeare, Henry VIII, Lucille Ball, and Winston Churchill all had red hair. In the case of Churchill that's like asking what color Michael Rosenbaum's hair is.

Also, apparently women's brains shrink when they are prego. And by "apparently" I mean "oh fuck" ( which is not to imply that trivia Cindy needs to be pushed down the stairs) (Fuck I hate giving them a shout out; they cheat).

Round 4

Awesome! It's songs from when we were kids!!!!!

We enjoyed this tons. However, you missed some goodies:

Thundercats (fuck yeah)
My Secret Identity
Suntops and the Smoggies (shitty)
He-man
Hercules
Rocket RobinHood

Just saying............


Round 5

Things happened.

Round 6

The number one thing that I learned this round was that Alexis knows about this blog. Hmmmmm. If I had something shitty to say to her, I would say it. And I'm not kissing ass, I just don't really have anything bad to say. I mean, her team sucks, and it always will, but I feel like I need more. I don't know...... ok here's one: Are you even studying here? What are you getting a degree in? Are you doing the advanced program where you skip a bachelor's and go straight to a P.H.D? How many of my beer dollars have gone into paying for you to attend Communist Fan Club meetings in Cuba?

Anyways, here's the totals. I wasn't as crusty tonight, 'cause trivia didn't suck, so things might not be quite as "ranty" as some of you may have liked.

#1 94 points PHDTS (Forever marked as cheaters even without there shitty little hobbit)
#2 89 points hmmmmm I'm so drunk I don't know who this is. Maybe Wes?????
#3 88 points Travis
#4 88? The Bi-Polar Bears

Ok so these aren't set in stone, I'm pissed (drunk, not mad, as compared to last week where I was both).

Anyone who reads this and doesn't laugh is a fuckin commie.......There, I said it.

I wish I had more time, but it's 3:02 and I have shit to do (that rhymes, deal with it).

Week 2 2009 Season 1

Attendance: Travis, Trivia James, Craig, Cindy, Steve-know

Start Time 10:00
End Time: 12:30, (but round 6 took about 10 seconds)

Whoa. Even though we knew that Drew and Grill weren't going to be here, we weren't prepared for the... well shall I say.....okay, let me put it this way....... trivia was not as good tonight.

Round 1

This was a pretty good round. The questions were not obscure, thus being "trivia".
We learned that Hibernia is in fact the Roman name for Ireland.

We also learned that the Czech Republic drinks the most beer per capita in the world. in fact, Budweiser (the name) was stolen from them by Anheuser Busch, and they called it Budweiser (very creative). Everyone guessed that Germany drank the most beer in the world. Those Germans never try hard enough.

Anyways, we got 9 points and won the round.

And then things took a turn for the worse.

Round 2

Tonights presenters had a choice:
























They chose the left path.

The songs were pretty obscure and shitty. We were pretty sure that the problem was that a guy who wears scarves indoors was picking the music.

It turns out it was another guy, bizarro Drew Carey, who was picking the tunes. He told us that this round was revenge for all the time's that Broad Street Brawlers lost the music round.

Oops, swing and a miss BSB got 2/10. We got 5/10. And even Push her Down the Stairs' cell phone only knew 7 of the tunes!! The end result was PHDTS won the round. Sigh.... I miss Drew and Grill.

Round 3

Ok, now I really miss Drew and Grill, you guys can pat yourselves on the back, even though you make the odd mistake, you don't suck.

To sum up how these guys treat trivia, click the following link and view the .gif. But first, keep in mind that:

the fans= the fans of The Owl Trivia
Sony= tonight's presenters
here's the link.

The end result was a three way tie breaker in which the question was: What is 7 + 12? Holy shit! Even this guy knows that!!!! What's worse, I bet they used a calculator. Push Her Down the Stairs definitely checked this on their cellphones/PDPs.

Round 4

Now we have cover songs!!! Yay!! But not good covers, no we have shitty ones by random SKA bands. Travis (the person) was pissed when he knew the answers because he knew that no one should know that shit!!

These guys put the "fun" in "nonrefundable".

All I can draw from this is that looking like Drew Carey, but with tattoos and a ball cap, does not make you fun.

Travis (the person) had had enough at this point. Cindy had to go too.

Travis (the person) was pissed at the quality of music tonight.

Round 5

And then the hobbit came.

Craig, Travis and Steve-know, the three remaining members, were called bald and old. Cindy must be telling these guys stuff to say about me?

Anyways, regarding the round, PHDTS got a bonus point from scarf man for having a funny tag line: "This round was harder than Michael Jackson in a preschool." If you're going to give handouts, empty your bank account into one of the Santa's at the mall during the holidays!!! Horseshit...

Man I miss Drew and Grill.

Round 6

Oh you know the round is going to go well when Bizarro Drew Carey starts it with an apology.

In place of Alexis' (sp?) usual smack talk, we had an apology!!

Sigh....Drew and Grill,,,,,,,,

The music was crap. There, I said it. Moving on.

Also, it's a good thing that Travis (the person) wasn't here, he would have boiled over at the pace we went at. Sigh......


Overall

I asked for quotes from the crew:

Craig: "If there was a round 7, I would have drank the purple kool-aid"

James: "If there was a round 7, I would have hung myself with that scarf."

Steve-Know: "[EXPLETIVE-DELETED] "

Scores for the night:

37.5 The Sexies
36 Travis
36 Push Her Down the Stairs
32.5 Two Tall Broads
22 Broad Street Brawlers

Damn I don't have the Bi-Polar Bears' score. We shall have to wait for standings.

Week 1 2009 Season 1

Start time: 9:59 p.m.
End Time: 12:50 'ish (a.m.)
Core Attendance: Cindy, Trivia Kari, Travis, Craig, Steve-Know.

Alright, this is my first posting of our trivia blog. There's a new sheriff in town (at least for one week). If you are easily offended, might I offer an appetizer www.maddox.xmission.com

Now that you are probably aghast, and know how to spot a pedophile from 20 paces, I will begin my story of tonight's trivia.

Round 1
Didn't go so great for team Travis, the actual score is lost to history, however we knew that distance under the sea is measured in fathoms, and that alone proves our awesomeness.

Also, Trivia Steve, A.K.A. Steve-Know (A.K.A. me), thought that a coelacanth was the same as a sea horse, it turns out I was wrong. Drew and Grill can pat themselves on the back....for now.

Round 2
Alleluia, Craig and Travis are here! We did ok, but we didn't win the music round. The mandatory drug testing policy I requested for trivia teams obviously didn't fly. Alcohol is the only safe drug.







Steve Know-2005- A texas mickey of rye and 4 friends.








Round 3
Okay so virtually everyone got 9 points. Whoopdeefuckindoo (sp?). Broad Street Brawlers won with 9.5 (see my mandatory drug testing policy mentioned above). They also hit Cindy in the head with ice (probably thrown at me for implying Grill started his engineering degree in 1982).

Also, there was a question like: "If you were ordering a Black Velvet in a bar, what type of drink would you be ordering". The answer given by our enginerring lords (who have yet to submit their urine tests I might add) was "some type of champagne". Oops.

Drew and Grill, I expect your pee in a cup on Monday. Here's my address:

Coalition for Gun Control
Toronto
P.O Box 90062, 1488 Queen St. W.
Toronto, ON M6K 3K3
Fax: (416) 604-0209

Craig T. Nelson and Steve-Know who are drunks, but pass the piss test, knew what the answer was (apparently Newfies use the casing as piggie banks).

But I digest.....

Round 4 The Music Theme Round!!!!

We were certain that we had nailed this round, then our engineering overlords gave away the answer to #10.

We were certain that #1 was from Bambi, where they are on the ice . It turns out that the song was from Fantasia oops, I thought that said fantasy.
Trivia-Cindy and Kari were pretty stellar in this round, but some other teams must have taken performance enhancing drugs to beat us.

Round 5 Tie

We tied some team who will remain unnamed because they are probably insignificant. (also, I have no idea what their name was). Craig battled them in a best of three rock paper scissors contest.

The end result had five ties in a row in it, which should only happen 1 in 243 games. In the end Craig decided that we had had enough to drink and played paper even though he knew that their representative was going to play scissors.

Craig was wrong. You can never have enough to drink (see above). However, he did let some team enjoy success, and perhaps this will spread the joy of trivia around the U of R.

Round 6

Finally our brilliance shone through. Travis scored a typical 10 points claiming the round. Heralds heralded and I probably said something, I bet Craig did too. Travis (the person) answered a lot of questions.

Some additional comments:

Craig caught shit tonight from the microphone. He should use his size (and possible superpowers) to destroy those who would make fun of Newfoundland. That or at least smother someone to death with the orange toque.

Speaking of our toques, the Bi-Polar Bears got their own uniforms! They cleverly chose baby blue shirts, baby blue being a gang colour in Regina. I may have dropped a note to my friend (who's a cop) that there has been an increase in gang activity around the university on Wednesday nights.

Anyways the final scores for the night, and for the season thus far are:

1st place 2 Tall Broads and Push Her Down the Stairs (tie) (who needs performance enhancing drugs when you can cheat with your cell phone?) 45 points.

2nd place WES (The Marijuana?) (Sorry I'm trying to read Cindy's writing) 44 points.

3rd place Travis 43.5

4th Bi-Polar Bears (gang) 42.5

5th Broad Street Brawlers 41

And as a final note, I propose that we keep track of points that we deserved this semester but were denied:

Denied: 1 (black-velvet)